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  For those of us who bid adieu to the blur of flowing beer, long lines and loud music of fraternity parties, the Maine Brewers Festival was a chance to relive those days.
After paying the $30 ticket fee to get in on Saturday’s Happy Hour, I was handed a small glass and a handful of beer tickets. I entered the Portland Expo Center and was greeted by 2,100 other people who thought bright lights and long lines for beer and bathrooms sounded like a good idea.
It’s no secret that Maine has more than its fair share of delicious microbrews- just one more reason we love Maine. Shipyard Pumpkinhead, Allagash White, Shipyard Longfellow, Casco Bay Winter Ale are some of my favorites that were being sampled much to my delight. But, Geary’s, where were you? We missed you!
So, unsurprisingly, quality of beer got a high rating from me. Most of these beers are not new to anyone whose been in Maine for awhile. The Allagash Curieux and the Peak Organic Espresso Amber Ale were exceptions for me. The Curieux is a full-bodied, aged beer and has 10.5% alcohol, so this is not a beer for the timid. The Espresso Amber ale boasts a dark Sumatran blend of espresso from Portland’s own Coffee by Design. The coffee is not just a sidenote - you taste the coffee. I’m not sure I would want more than one of these, but I think that is the point. It’s a beer to savor and enjoy.
 So, why, you ask, does one return to this festival to stand in long lines for three hours and pay $30.00 for roughly 36 oz. of beer? And, oh, yeah, watch an enormous digital clock ticking down the seconds until you are told to get out? This is a question I pondered for awhile, actually.
There’s definitely something to be said for people-watching. Why some people feel this is the appropriate venue for their ridiculous t-shirts is beyond me, but I’m amused nonetheless. “I’m not a gynecologist, but I’ll take a look” read one shirt. Another amusing one said, “I like to get drunk and hump things.” Let us not forget the groups of people that must have been anticipating this event for awhile because they had the time to have a t-shirt designed. “I’d Tap That” was one such group. And these aren’t all kids whose ID’s are fresh off the printer. Some of these folks have likely been to this festival all fifteen years.
The other fun thing to watch was the dancing. The group I witnessed dancing looked strangely sober and happy (imagine that!) and left me wondering if they paid just to come and twirl around with strangers for a few hours.
We all know that no frat party is complete without music. But I have to hand it to the organizers of the festival for getting some good bands. This isn’t background music – it’s the stuff that makes you look away from your beer glass for a minute and listen. The bands featured this year were Entrain, Muddy Marsh Ramblers and the Steve Jones Band.
 In addition to questioning the conspicuous absence of Geary’s, I also wondered, “where does the money go?” I tried to ask an attendant at the Shipyard booth but she wouldn’t spill the beans. She pointed me to the Registration booth, whose attendants were friendly in that PR sort of way. All I learned was that it was an independent company who was definitely making a profit. When I asked what the booths had to pay to be here and whether they received a cut in the proceeds, I was told that the breweries had to pay but the dispersion of proceeds was “complicated.” Okay. So, we are not filling soup bowls for the homeless this year, but it looks like the Red Cross and the Boys and Girls club of Portland may have received a small allowance.
The festival is designed so that the long lines and small glass prevent utter intoxication. The few people who looked like they were going to leave and vomit all over the sidewalk outside at 5:30 pm looked that way when they entered the festival at 2 pm.
I’m glad I got a chance to go to a party, hang out with some friends, let someone else organize the drinks, food, music and logistics and sample more of Maine’s delicious brews. I’m not sure I’ll be eager to get back in the lines next year, but I know someone else will gladly take my place. Like every year since the festival started fifteen years ago, this event sold out quickly.
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